The ever-complicated science of HSE job searching

As I scan the job market searching for the round hole that more commonly doesn't quite fit my square arse, I am noticing that a lot of the jobs being advertised are written in such a way that even I with my 25 years of experience just roll past thinking 'I couldn't do that much'.

Without any smugness or arrogance, but certainly with a little pinch of pride, I have to admire where I have been, what I have done and how well I have achieved while wearing the HSE hard hat. Note I never finished that line with 'how well I have done it'...more on that later.

So lets talk about Recruiters - I have to be careful what I write here about 'Recruiters' as I have a phenomenal one as a daughter who doesn't deal in HSE and my 'go to' lady in Aberdeen (who does). However, keeping it straight, and having spoken to many more over the last month I have been left almost opened mouthed as they rattle off a long list of highly expected qualities, the extensive sought after deliverables and then the finalized list of qualifications needed to even be considered...hmmm. It won't be long before we are introduced to process with "this call is being monitored for the purposes of blah...blah...blah" before we can at least have a speculative conversation.

Maybe an opportunity to consider that many of the HSE colleagues I have met and had the honor of working with over my career...and who are still doing what they do well I should state...are, like myself, referred to nowadays as 'old school'. Quoting Jamie Foxx the actor if I may, while he was at a DJ booth in a swanky nightclub in LA, a girl asked him his age and when he replied 44 she stepped backwards with a hand on her chest and a look of stark terror on her face he quickly informed her "it's not a disease you know"! Likewise, us 'older folk' are not fossils and because we don't all have (or choose to put) 26 blocked letters after our profile names on Linkedin does not mean we are worthy of an immediate elimination from what is either perceived as 'what the client wants' or what the ill prepared Recruiter may have developed in preparation of impressing the client with the adverts unrealistic and exhaustive content details.

It seems evident to me that although many of the calls I have received start with a compliment i.e. "I came across your profile and am impressed by your experience...would you be interested in", have in many cases been a shrouded canvas for finding out where their market rate thoughts lay in response to what a well qualified (dare I call myself that) expert considers as a fair days pay. In fact, many of the adverts I have looked at and then subsequently received a call on have been almost insultingly low on the considered rates. That ever sought after % that the recruitment team seek for every hours worth of work slog the applicant may get seems to have become more important than finding the 'ideal candidate'. One of my previous stints with a client quickly turned into an interesting conversation with the Managing Director where he himself asked me "do you know how much you get paid per day and how much we pay for your services"?...of course I laughed at first then realised he wasn't!. It turned out the recruiter was taking 20+ percent and to sum up the amount of support I received after having been taken on for my merits, and then successfully fulfilling the slot for 6 months plus...not even a bloody Christmas Card!

Qualifications - Having met and worked with several people over the years who's CV's were so abound with qualifications gained from classroom studies that it could choke a horse to death, I feel appropriately qualified to make up my own mind on whether they could do what I do having in many cases very little practical experience...flexibility...or dare I say it, 'years under their belts'.

The Prime Years - I suspect a great many 'great people' are not even being glanced at these days because they don't have the much sought after DIPQHSEBScPREQUAL certificate in their lockers that clients are either being told "is a must for this role" or is the new course on the street that distances itself from the very much owned and now over possessed NEBOSH! The latter having (in my opinion) become so diluted in its requirements to pass from what it once was that you now receive a shaken hand at the beginning of the course...(there's a message in there somewhere).

Interview Standard Feedback - With searching clients being required to hold a certain number of interviews for any proposed positions these days, some have become almost Christmas Panto(ish) for those that have to conduct them and those that unfortunately attend them unaware that the job may already be assigned to someone else. Having recently attended an interview I knew within 2 minutes that the range of questions being asked and the manner in which they were delivered by an obviously unenthusiastic team that 'they had already made their choice' and we were just ticking off one of their needs and so far distant from mine. Nonetheless, and as fully expected, the "we will get back to you shortly" led to a generic email the very next day informing me that someone else had been selected who possessed more experience...really!

The (how much is my position worthy of) Rate Debate - Wow!...It's always good to start a new chapter with a WOW!...but as we are all experiencing the world financial crisis and it's not something that is beyond my understanding or touch, I too am alarmed at the price of a tub of LURPAK Butter hitting £8.00 in the next month. Required quote - There are other brands available on the market. When I have entertained a young enthusiastic recruiter voice on the phone 'beefing me up' for several minutes I too have now become the person I personally dislike and moved more swiftly to the 'let's cut to the chase" and..."what is the rate please"?. Please just tell me directly, don't smooth it into the cracks and crevices, just tell me the rate and please, please, please don't ease it in there with sweetener like "and after a 3 month probation the client may consider you worthy of a working from home position"......aaaahhhhhhh!!!

My answer to that particular £165.00 per day rate offer became so much easier when they didn't even know if accommodation was included or travel reimbursement.

I have been a 'safety guy' now for the last 25 years (just sat down for a moment as I became dizzy...please forgive me for getting old) and I like to spend the large percentage of my day walking the boards and at the coalface (does anyone these days remember coal)? I don't want to work from my spare bedroom in an attempt to shape a businesses safety standards...it doesn't work! The inevitability of being forced to attend hundreds of Teams Calls 'WITH YOUR CAMERA ON PLEASE' messages from your superbly experienced manager at 5 minute intervals before the scheduled time tells me that they have either lost sight of reality, possibly never had it, but do have a certificate for it somewhere. As I have explained over several recent interviews, I don't watch the talker in the room I watch the audience to see if what is being said is understood. My short time with CNOOC made me question 'why' someone would attend an open camera teams call with an unmade bed in the background?...the only thing I gleaned from those calls of any HSE value was that the bed linen laundry routine was 'frequent' so at least there was some 'occupational' reassurance gained there.

What level and standard of HSE 'expertise' are the client and recruiters looking for where the day rate offer is so disrespectfully low that the only people that would ever consider accepting it are those looking for their first start in industry but do have those 'horse killer qualifications' I mentioned earlier. And lets not forget that if the client and recruiter believe those that say 'yes' so swiftly possess a surprising keenness!...odds on they will have more of a roaming eye toward leaving asap than establishing annual KPI's that measure collective HSE successes and their own contributions. As an example, the turn-over of HSE guys in Construction site based roles tends to be far higher and not just because of the daily difficulties of trying to save the lives of those who would rather argue and justify poor behavior than comply.

A demise in recognition of what good and great safety people can achieve and bring to the table indicates a lack of vision and understanding of their genuine value.

Holding one's Integrity - At my personal choice I shall continue to work beyond my assigned 12 hour shift as I have done for the last 25 years if the job, team or the situation requires it. I am capable and able to measure my own abilities and needs and have never compromised either. I have also never chased a single penny in 'over-time' in either my 12 years in the Military or 25 years in a variety of HSE positions around the globe.

And to finish if I may...

To all my HSE colleagues out there both in work currently or looking. If you find yourself working for a manager who regularly berates you and becomes aggressive despite telling others how well you do your job, or criticizes you for "continuously helping others" and backs this up with "I never told you to do that", my professional advice is to leave!

As a safety professional, no matter what you may be earning or how many times you continue to excuse people with narcissist behavior traits, you have gotten yourself into a negative position and are extremely unlikely to progress and develop the needs of the operation that you may have recognised as a professional. You deserve better for your credibility, personal integrity and mental health wellbeing.

The job seeking process is a two-way street so keep aiming high and don't settle for less than you are worth.